Anyone taking any anti-deps ever find yourselves feeling like you're on autopilot?

It's probably not the drugs, but I'm having a hard time finding motivation to sit down and make a plan, or do the things I need to to help make my life/circumstances better. But I'm totally OK about everything.

Guess I'm a lil disappointed cuz I could normally use that discomfort to motivate me to take the necessary steps to change whatever was making me uncomfortable.

It's sorta like that scene from Garden State where he's at the party in the basement, and he's stuck to the couch with a stupid grin while the party happens around him. Cept it's not all a party, and probably some real legit problems are going unserviced, while I'm stuck.

Anyone else know that feeling?

i_hope_that
For many of us, the holidays can be kind of rough. If you're searching for a network of understanding friends, this ultra-nurturing community encourages you to express your heartfelt wishes and offer other members encouragement and acceptance. Not for the terminally snarky or emotionally-challenged, this is a good-spirited place to lend comfort and support.

diygifts
Feeling crafty? If you've got a few last folks on your holiday gift list, this is a great place to seed your creativity and generosity. You'll also discover wonderful DIY tips to decorate your home and entertain guests. Offering a no-frills-no-skills attitude that welcomes the cash-challenged and arts-phobic, you're sure to get ideas and make friends in the process.

cooking_club
A fun and friendly community dedicated to those who love to cook, whether you're a meat-and-potatoes type, an aspiring gourmand, and/or a vegan. In search of a brilliant dish to use up those weekly leftovers? Post your ingredients and you'll be whipping up a feast by dinner. You can also share favorite recipes. For Type A chefs, you can spice up your culinary repertoire with exciting cooking challenges.

I got a flight to NYC coming up in a few weeks. It's not the city that intimidates me but the airports and flight and crossing customs (from Canada) makes me just ugh. I'm worried about having a panic attack and getting rejected access to the country cause I can't answer a few simple questions.

Shy of begging my doc for Xanax/Ativan, what could I do to keep my cool under pressure during the transit there and back?

(Worst case I have two tabs of Ativan left, but I don't want to use them.)

So every moment I'm not at work, I'm completely freaking out about going back. I only work fifteen hours a week/three days. It's just getting worse and worse and making me sick with stress. How would you deal with this situation?

This is Amber, again. I'm interested in finding people to talk to, if anyone would like to indulge!

~^.^~ Thank you!
Danke.
(I only know some German, but I can try to talk to people in it.
I'm in German 2 Honors at my school. XD)

How do you know if you are having a nervous breakdown?

Hi! I'm Kristen - and I'm 20 years old. I got married a little over a year ago to my amazing husband, Curtis. We own a house and are currently remodelling it. I'm ALWAYS looking for new friends on LJ, so please feel free to add me, and I will in return, add you back. :) I talk a lot about art, my etsy shop, my life, the house remodel, the kids I babysit, etc. I don't mind whatever you are into writing about, as I like to read about anything! :) Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you're clicking the "friend" button now! :)

"Я получил уже все подарки-но отчего внутри такая пустота?"

Взято из mozhno_podumat

Name: Nico Echols Location: originally from Chicago; now living in Springfield, Illinois Disabilities: legally blind, seizure disorder, and cerebral palsy Age: mid-20s, though people think I'm younger than my actual age The real me: I am fun-loving, and I thoroughly enjoy making new friends.  I am kind-hearted, and I am super helpful.  Unfortunately, I get frustrated if I get singled out because of my disability. Likes: meeting new people, being involved in my church, and being a disability rights activist Dislikes: sweets, learning a sattellite TV remote system without ha

Continuation from this post.

This is how it went;
I came ther around 15-20 minutes before it actually started. I was nervous.
Then all the people came, and it went ok. Then it was the dinner, I ate, and then I went to another room where 3-4 other where, because there wasn't room for them with the others. Because I just kinda wanted to be somewhere less crowded for a while. And that helped. And then I kinda went back and fourth beetween.

It went just fine actually. I was actually the first person to come (of the "guests" I mean), and the last person to go! I was there for over 3 hours! I'm so proud of myself.

This loneliness, pain, hopelessness, regret, helplesness, guilt, resent I feel keeps bubbling up. I can't help but rewind things, especially when they go bad. Everyone around me/stuck with me has had enough and pissed off. I understand; I wouldn't want to deal with the mess (as described by an acquaintance picking on me) I am either.
Things in my family have gotten progressively worse - mostly because of my past and inability to let go of wrongdoings big and small by keeping my mouth shut and realizing people aren't gonna change. I get so pent up with frustration of what's going on outside of and inside the family that it's become a habit to snap and lash back at people when disrespected. (It's become dad's habit since this spring/summer to purposely not listen to me clearly and set me up to get yelled at/punished by mom. Dad's having another affair or continuing the same one. They also discount me whenever they feel like it's not their thinking.) Last time my dad yanked my hair because I didn't want to leave my seat for him to say something. Today my mom had enough of me crying and pushed me out to the hall to kick me out of the house. It used to be my dad (or maybe both) who would drag me to the door to try to kick me out. She pulled my hair and shook my head back and forth; my dad was watching from the kitchen with a "see, I told you so/haha, loser" look on his face then looked away and walked off to the side, enjoying his revenge.
I wish they didn't have me - it would have saved them all that money and anger and frustration, time and energy. If there is a karmic explanation or a past life explanation, I would like to know it now. I know some of it is my fault now.. Did I really treat the people around me that cruelly in my past life for me to end up so frail and weak?
I owe them money. That's almost always the reason behind it; I'm not smart enough to get a full scholarship to a good school and graduate with a high-paying degree that provides a stable income or I didn't get rich on my own/didn't get a windfall.

People pick on me a lot wherever I go.. I need to get out of here - too many people know me here.

Therapists cost too much.
I'm contemplating the hotline, but I'm afraid the number will show up on the bill and then I'll be in for it again.

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

the last year I wanted to improve my social skills and my social circle. Since I have difficulty approaching the other sex, I thought it would be a neat thing to try and befriend someone working in a health food store, which I did try to do. At first I had mixed feelings towards it, try to rush it. Even felt attracted to her, since she is a gorgeous woman.
Problem is, it never got of the ground. Since the store is not really a place to socialize and there is a time factor - I have difficulties handling social settings under time restraint- I thought adding her on Facebook would open doors. Boy was I wrong.
Not only did it nothing for me to improve my status, but she still treats me as a customer, not as a friend. And it only went downhill from there.
It seems that I'm not only terrible at seducing women, but also terrible at befriending them.
The irrational fear in me is controlling my actions in a certain way, that I'm driven by them withouth even fully realizing it, making it worse.
Maybe i should move on and try to let it go? It is a not easy thing to do.
This social anxiety is a real curse. Explaining things to her would only make it even more weird, because there isn't a certain level of trust established already between us. So to explain something so personal to someone who obviously has no interest in it - or has the wrong idea - could make things even more worse.
You would think that befriending someone of the opposite would be easy, but noooo. It is as hard as trying to seduce them, date them.

The library near me is having their volunteer orientation tomorrow and I'm planning on going. I was fine with the idea for the few weeks that I decided to go but now, the night before, I'm starting to get a little nervous.
Have any of you volunteered before? Not necessarily at a library but any kind of volunteering. What is it like?
I'm hoping they'll want me to shelve books. I think it would actually be fun. I'm kind of afraid of having to deal with people though..
I thought this would be a good idea, volunteering, because I've never had a job and this would be a sort of introduction to it. I chose the library because it's quiet and I'm familiar with the layout of the one I go to.

Hello! My name is Meghan. I’m a 22 year old girl from central PA. I’m going to college here in central PA. I’m majoring in social work and minoring in history. I have four cats. Here are some of the things that I like:

-Lord of The Rings
-Harry Potter
-Invader Zim
-Star Trek
-Cats
-Ancient Rome
-Watching foreign movies
-Anything paranormal
-Abandoned buildings
-Meeting new people
-Making new friends
-Chatting with people

Some other ways to reach me are:

AIM: Odd Earth Girl
Yahoo: inwe_sindanarie
MSN: meghan723@gmail.com
ICQ: 385399090

I write in my journal everyday and I’m not afraid to leave comments either. Add me and you won’t be disappointed. Hope to hear from you all soon!

hello peoples,

i get annoyed with people
sometimes i think there is something wrong with them rather than me
all there convos with one another
are so shallow, hollow, plastic
filled with useless gossip
and there stupid sex lives
wtf?

i get so irritated when people talk to one another about
there "sexual activities" they have had and im like right there,
sitting rite in front of them. its like fuck you
just cuz im quiet doesnt mean i cant hear
the convo ur having. it doesnt mean i dont get disgusted.
cant they talk about it when i'm gone?
i swear its like i'm invisable to them.



i cant find the motivation to reach out and talk to anybody
because i feel like i cant relate to most of the people that surround me.
sometimes when i get to school i'm so bothered and irritated by people and
i just want to be alone. yet i beg for understanding, someone who
has the same problems as me and understands.

i'm thinking about getting a psychologist.
what are the advantages/disadvantages of getting a psychologist?
for people who have one has it helped you in any way?

Thanks to everyone for their replies to my previous post.
Anyway, my next problem is that I am a shitty dater. I just broke up with my partner of four months through a text message and said, "I'm sorry I have to do it this way but because of my social anxiety, it's the only way I can. I've felt for the last month that we just aren't connecting the way we should and that our interests and priorities aren't compatible. I still value and care about you as a person and think you are cool and nice. But I'd rather have this as a friendship. I'm sorry."

All he wrote back is "I have to get up at 5 AM tomorrow for something but can we talk about his tomorrow night"?

I'm 24 and haven't dated anyone for a few years. I started dating him right after I was brutally assaulted, mugged and hospitalized because I was too scared to be alone and felt this need to connect to someone. I know the process of dating and breaking up is a normal thing for people to do but I so rarely let people into my life that it's really hard to let them go, even though nothing about the relationship is working for me. The thought of me hurting someone is enough to make me almost suicidal, especially if they say something triggering or cruel. I also worry that I'll talk to him and he'll persuade me to stay in it. That he'll want specifics when I just don't feel that way anymore. That he'll think it's because of his sexual anxiety when it has little to do with that.
So much of me lets go and is ready for change in the winter - I'm ending relationships, quitting my job to take care of health issues, and looking to move.

Edit: It is over. He responded very maturely and wanted to know why but I kept up with the whole "It's not you, it's me". Though as usual he was confused I hadn't given any warning whatsoever. I guess I should work on these skills before starting another relationship, as I cannot communicate what is wrong.

I guess this isn't directly related to SA, but I thought it kind of relates, and I am praying I am not the only one who has done something like this.

I saw on facebook that my roommate from last year, Kathryn, broke up with her boyfriend. I thought they were really cute together and thought it was sad. Kathryn and I weren't really close or anything (because of my SA, I never opened up to her despite living with her for the school year) so I didn't want to ask her about it.

So I texted what I thought was my friend Kelly and told her what I'd seen and that I was sad for some reason. Their names were right next to eachother in my address book, I hit the wrong button and before I could cancel it the text had sent.

The text I got back:
Hey, I don't know if you meant to send this to me, but I'm sorry I made you sad. I am sad enough already.

UGH, I feel like the biggest moron in the world. It's not like I sit around gossiping about other people through texts, either, this is literally the first time I've mentioned Kathryn in a text since we used to live together. I apologized profusely and she told me not to worry about it but I feel so incredibly stupid. She was a really nice girl, and the first thing she hears from me in months is an accidentally sent text talking about her behind her back. :(

Even worse, what if she thinks I really did mean to send it to her or something but me, being the weird, socially inept person that I am decided to go about it in an indirect way to ask her about it?

I am so embarrassed.